"Let Them": The theory that could flip your career happiness on its head (in a good way)

Mel Robbins' new theory and how it can relate to your work and career

“Let Them”. That’s the title of a new book and a theory from Mel Robbins. She also delves into what she calls a ‘mindest hack’ in the latest episode of her podcast (listen to it here).

The theory is that instead of trying to control a situation or a person’s behaviour, you say ‘Let Them’. You take a step back and allow the thing, the person, the situation, to just ‘be’.

Instead of getting het up, of being upset, of throwing your toys out of the pram, you say ‘Let Them’ and you go on your merry way.

Wow.

When it comes to work, this could be game changing.

That colleague who is always playing up to the boss? Let Them.

That job application where the recruiter’s ignoring you? Let Them.

The theory is about life, not just work, but as a career coach of course I would like to focus in on whether this theory can be something you use in your career to help you. Mel says in the podcast episode it’s about ‘Getting out of other people’s business and finding emotional peace’. That situations aren’t always about you, and you need to let people do what they want to do.

For me, the idea of stepping back from a situation at work you can’t control is huge. You see, I’m a worryer. A mitherer. A fusser and a ‘gets het up-er’. I let things bother me. I have spent a lot of time crying in the toilets/stairwell/at my desk when WFH because of the frustrations I feel at the behaviour of other people at work.

If only, I feel now, I had ‘Let Them’.

That manager who used to make me red-in-the-face angry with their two-faced actions? Why didn’t I just Let Them?

It’s easy to say ‘Let Them’ but I do think when it comes to work it’s something we might need to practice. Just waking up one day and saying we’re going to let go of the control we think we need over work situations isn’t as simple as we might want it to be. But we can begin with baby steps. Little ‘Let Thems’ that begin to shift how we feel about the things happening and being done around us that we can’t control.

As a coach, I find it really fascinating. So much of what frustrates us about our work lives is other people’s behaviour. I often have to let a client do their own thing - it’s not my job to tell them what to do, or how to take action.

It’s a positive thing - saying ‘Let Them’ and holding space to see where their mind goes and the decision they make.

You can also use this theory - and Mel delves into this in the podcast - to make choices about work. You take the theory beyond the ‘Let Them’ moment.

That client who hasn’t paid on time? Let Them. But don’t work with them again.

The colleague who never had your back who’s now asked you to write a LinkedIn recommendation? Let Them. But don’t write it.

The company where you worked that was so toxic you felt like you were in a Batman movie who keeps posting about new roles? Let Them. Then hide them from your feed.

That former colleague who never asked you if you wanted a cuppa who has now followed you on Instagram? Let Them. But don’t follow back and be glad they’re lurking.

You can also flip this to try and reframe the way you perceive people are thinking about you. Think someone judges you at work for being too keen? Let Them. Worrying a colleague doesn’t like you? Let Them.

Is this about not taking action, about just being passive? I don’t think so. It’s about controlling what you can control and focusing in on you.

There does seem to be a bit of a ‘mwahahaha’ element. A bit of the villain to this. But it’s not about being mean, or reactionary. It’s not about ‘getting back’ at someone. And it can be about situations in your current work.

Saying ‘Let Them’ is about saying you’re not going to get involved in someone else’s agenda. And that’s something that could be hugely liberating for your career happiness. Because the less involved you are in THEIR agenda, the more focus you can have on your own goals and plans.

Happy Friday, all.

And let me know if you ‘Let Them’ at work! I’d love to know your stories.

xJenny

Here’s Mel on the theory

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