Careers are a relationship – how’s yours?
Happy Valentine’s Day to those who ‘celebrate’. To mark the day I thought I’d bring you an analogy between careers and relationships.
I’ve written before about how job hunting is like dating – well, careers can be long-term, short-term, a series of flings… you name it.
Are we ever truly 100% happy? It’s unlikely. But I resist using the word journey – it’s more a relationship in that things change, things challenge us, we sometimes want to leave and we sometimes can never imagine anything changing. Ever.
Our careers and our work are a series of relationships and it's not always going to be perfect. Some people have been in a long-term relationship, in their job one job for 5, 10, 15, 20, or even 30 years.
Other people might have been in a series of relationships, shorter term roles or contracts, a bit like me – the longest I’ve ever held a job is just under three years.
Within that relationship with our career, there within highs and lows, ups and downs, challenges, good times, bad times. There are moments we wonder what on earth we’ve done committing to this partnership.
On the flip side, there will and must have been for you, too, times that you just feel so in love and you just think ‘I'm so lucky that I've chosen this, that this found me, that this is my relationship, my career path’.
Personally, I've had a lot of career relationships. I have been freelance, I’ve had staff jobs. I've broken up with my career and decided I want to go and try and date another career. I’ve had flings with teaching, being a ski seasonnaire, with trying out different kinds of writing and magazines, working for trade mags, working for websites. Flirtations with different niches.
If job hunting is like dating, and careers are a relationship, then of course there are break ups, too. Redundancy is the dumping or divorce you didn’t want or expect – I’ve been there, and I still have feelings about it. I think I always will. I think there will always be an element of rejection and grief. But it's what you do after that, as with the end of any relationship, that’s what really matters. How you choose to ‘get back out there’ again, and move forward. Not forgiving, perhaps, but learning to forget enough that a new relationship is shiny and wonderful again.
As for the flings – well, the biggest is perhaps coaching. But that’s something that’s grown into way more than a ‘maybe let’s go steady’ relationship.
Now, I am a mixture of writer and coach – perhaps I’m in two relationships.
I know deep down that words, communication and people will always be the core values of my career relationship. They all blend together in the work I do – writing this Substack, sharing on socials, or in the moment of coaching where it’s about the client’s words and feelings.
So, my question for you today on Valentine's Day is to ask yourself, what is your career relationship and are you happy with it?
Are you in a long-term one, or actually, are you looking to split up? Maybe you want to go on a break or explore something new in your niche. You might be ‘dating’ and wishing you could find ‘the one’ and settle down. You might be freelance and wishing you weren’t, or vice versa.
Perhaps you have just been told that you're being made redundant or you're losing your job and you're going through those feelings of the break up. Sending a hug if you are – I know those feelings and I promise they do pass enough for you to look forwards again.
Wherever you’re at in your career relationship, coaching can help. The unique thing about my mixture of career relationships and coaching is I understand pretty much every scenario there is. The crying in the toilets, the quitting with no job to go to, the joy of a new role that fits you, the hurt of rejection.
I've gone freelance, I've quit freelancing. I've done the pitching thing, I've done the contract thing, I've done the staff job thing. I've done the maybe I'll do a different career thing. I've done the career break thing. So, whatever you want to bring to the coaching table, I understand. What we then do is allow the space for you to share what’s going on for you and find a way forward with your career happiness.
If you’re interested in coaching, please do email me on jennysholliday@gmail.com
And for now, happy Valentine’s to you and your career!
Jenny x
p.s. ever feel like a dinosaur at work? I do! Click on the insta link to find out more…
